It has been a tough last few weeks. I started a new job and along with setting up a new home, working on relationships - it has not been an easy ride especially with the intense travel required for the first project.
Is this what I want to do? Was the MBA helpful? Am I being honest to myself? Am I doing my best work? Am I doing my best at home? Am I investing in the right opportunities? Am I making new connections? Am I reaching out to my huge secondary networks?
The answer is 'no'. An emphatic no to many.
What went wrong?
It is not wrong as much as I lost focus. I spent a great deal of time reflecting on myself - both personal and professional - in the first few months at INSEAD. I did what I had to do and it was a very intense but beautiful time for me and Bhanu during her pregnancy and then the birth. Those were magical moments. We shared experiences traveling and living in France that we will most likely never get again. I do not regret any minute of it.
However, I strayed a bit off my professional goals. Even more for Bhanu who is now in a completely new country, new family, new setting, new home - and still needs to figure out her career path. She is slowly putting her thoughts back into her career and with her laser sharp mind, I am sure she will figure something out. She is smart like that.
This is more of a selfish post - so I will get back to my goals. I blindingly followed the herd at INSEAD recruitment by pushing for consulting. Given the limited options, it seemed like the best bet at the time. I am still excited by the Blue Ridge opportunity - there are slivers of hope strewn across. The meeting with the executive team and PE folks in Minneapolis was inspiring. I should have done much more personally - first, introduced myself and my background. That is a foot in the door to get my voice into the conversation much earlier and easier to assert my opinion throughout the day. Second, I should have done the latter which is - added my opinion when I could rather than holding myself back.
But the ray of hope is that these are learning experiences. The faster I learn from them and improve my work, the better will be my work. The people at Blue Ridge are absolutely not smarter than I am - but the good ones are just working harder. Okay - so what? What do I do now?
I 'need to leverage my background and education' to make an impact. Not in terms of bragging about it, but the actual learnings I have from it. I can't continue to do good work. I have to 'do my best' in whatever I do. As Yanik Silver said in the 'The Unmistakable Creative' podcast, you have to give 100%. Not just get by. Not just 'chalta hai'. Do the best! I have done that in pockets during my career but not at a stretch. It has to be consistent. There is no other way to a meaningful career.
Okay - so how do I figure out what I want to be best at? That is going to be a journey. It is going to take me to some pitfalls along the way (likely I am in one right now), but that is okay. That is where I am going to learn the most. Remember - life is not a straight journey. It is an entangled mess of a journey. But the good ones get up, learn from those failures and be successful.
What does success mean for me?
To be a thought leader / expert in an area of domain I enjoy working in. It could evolve over time and it will most likely will but as the second grade saying was - a life without ambition is like a ship without rudder. So it is better to have an anchor and then move it along as life moves on.
How do I reach there? What are the life elements that would shape my success? This is critical. I have to create a structure in my life to shape the journey towards success. It cannot be a messy adhoc way like I live right now. I had laid many of these things in 2016 before INSEAD. So while I need to revisit my previous writings, the key elements would be family, meditation, health (both physical and emotional), personal and professional network and possibly more. Create measurable goals for me to track my performance. Don't just live Nikhil. Do the best. Be the best. Be happy!
Is this what I want to do? Was the MBA helpful? Am I being honest to myself? Am I doing my best work? Am I doing my best at home? Am I investing in the right opportunities? Am I making new connections? Am I reaching out to my huge secondary networks?
The answer is 'no'. An emphatic no to many.
What went wrong?
It is not wrong as much as I lost focus. I spent a great deal of time reflecting on myself - both personal and professional - in the first few months at INSEAD. I did what I had to do and it was a very intense but beautiful time for me and Bhanu during her pregnancy and then the birth. Those were magical moments. We shared experiences traveling and living in France that we will most likely never get again. I do not regret any minute of it.
However, I strayed a bit off my professional goals. Even more for Bhanu who is now in a completely new country, new family, new setting, new home - and still needs to figure out her career path. She is slowly putting her thoughts back into her career and with her laser sharp mind, I am sure she will figure something out. She is smart like that.
This is more of a selfish post - so I will get back to my goals. I blindingly followed the herd at INSEAD recruitment by pushing for consulting. Given the limited options, it seemed like the best bet at the time. I am still excited by the Blue Ridge opportunity - there are slivers of hope strewn across. The meeting with the executive team and PE folks in Minneapolis was inspiring. I should have done much more personally - first, introduced myself and my background. That is a foot in the door to get my voice into the conversation much earlier and easier to assert my opinion throughout the day. Second, I should have done the latter which is - added my opinion when I could rather than holding myself back.
But the ray of hope is that these are learning experiences. The faster I learn from them and improve my work, the better will be my work. The people at Blue Ridge are absolutely not smarter than I am - but the good ones are just working harder. Okay - so what? What do I do now?
I 'need to leverage my background and education' to make an impact. Not in terms of bragging about it, but the actual learnings I have from it. I can't continue to do good work. I have to 'do my best' in whatever I do. As Yanik Silver said in the 'The Unmistakable Creative' podcast, you have to give 100%. Not just get by. Not just 'chalta hai'. Do the best! I have done that in pockets during my career but not at a stretch. It has to be consistent. There is no other way to a meaningful career.
Okay - so how do I figure out what I want to be best at? That is going to be a journey. It is going to take me to some pitfalls along the way (likely I am in one right now), but that is okay. That is where I am going to learn the most. Remember - life is not a straight journey. It is an entangled mess of a journey. But the good ones get up, learn from those failures and be successful.
What does success mean for me?
To be a thought leader / expert in an area of domain I enjoy working in. It could evolve over time and it will most likely will but as the second grade saying was - a life without ambition is like a ship without rudder. So it is better to have an anchor and then move it along as life moves on.
How do I reach there? What are the life elements that would shape my success? This is critical. I have to create a structure in my life to shape the journey towards success. It cannot be a messy adhoc way like I live right now. I had laid many of these things in 2016 before INSEAD. So while I need to revisit my previous writings, the key elements would be family, meditation, health (both physical and emotional), personal and professional network and possibly more. Create measurable goals for me to track my performance. Don't just live Nikhil. Do the best. Be the best. Be happy!
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